Here we are! This page is meant to act as a general introduction to the topic. We'll define some basic terms and explain a little of what it can mean to be trans.
First off- everyone has different experiences. There is no one wrong way to "be trans." There doesn't need to be any justification for why someone identifies or expresses a certain way. If you don't understand someone, it's alright. We're all just living our lives- what someone else does with their gender has no imapct on your personal life.
Basic Terms
Cisgender: someone who is cisgender identifies with their sex assigned at birth.
Transgender: someone who is transgender does not identify with their sex assigned at birth.
Transition: the process a transgender person takes to make their body align with their gender. This process varies for everyone.
Social Convention/MannersNavigating social situations can be stressful as a trans person. I've heard so many stories of trans folk with constant worries. We worry if other people can tell if we're trans. If we're blending in and passing, or sticking out like a sore thumb.
If someone seems trans or you're not sure how to refer to them, you can ask what their pronouns are, but don't pry beyond that.
If you do find out someone is trans, it's generally considered rude to ask questions like the following:
- How are you going to transition?
- Are you going to have surgeries?
- How do you have sex?
- etc...
Those are all actual questions I've been asked. I don't mind being asked such things- but I know many other people would feel uncomfortable or even take offense to it. Generally, if you would feel insulted if someone asked you the same question, don't ask it. Another good rule of thumb is- if this person wasn't trans, would I be asking them this? Avoid asking in public, too. You might be eager to learn more about transgender folk, but hateful people exist and speaking openly may threaten their safety.
Now, if you're truly dying of curiosity... and in a quiet place where you won't be overheard by anyone else... and you're decently acquainted with this transgender person (i.e. it's not you're first time meeting them, at least), you could ask them if they would be comfortable discussing the topic. If you ask permission before launching into other questions, it helps them feel more welcomed, rather than like a freak show you're curious about for novelty's sake.
Safety
Safety is another issue for trans folk. Simply talking about being transgender in public can be dangerous in the wrong area.
If you have the opportunity to protect anyone, please do so- even if it's just checking in to make sure they feel comfortable and/or safe. Little gestures like that mean the world.
I want to use actual statistics for this section and provide some resources for people to use in this section. It's unfinished until I get all that put together, sorry!
What next?
Now that you're through with this crash course, feel free to check out the other tabs at the top of the page! You can click them to learn more about different identities and how to help support the community. Thank you for taking the time to read this far!